


Witcher Minis

by Flowers_n_Dragons



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: BAMF Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon Ships It, Crack, Dildos, Dirty Talk, Drabble Collection, Family Reunions, Feral Jaskier | Dandelion, First Kiss, First Meetings, Heartbreak, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Witchers, M/M, Masturbation, Morning After, Morning Sex, Morning Wood, Multi, Nude Modeling, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Parent Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Public Display of Affection, Rejection, Romance, Voyeurism, Witchersexual Jaskier | Dandelion, Wolf Pack, Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:42:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flowers_n_Dragons/pseuds/Flowers_n_Dragons
Summary: A collection of mini fics/drabbles I posted in fb groups and/or wrote for fun because apparently I am addicted to writing now...Rating is various. It's mostly safe for people 16+. Chapter 3 is a bit explicit/NSFW.I am open to any prompts you may have, go wild in the comment section ;) especially Geraskier. Obviously. If the idea really catches my fancy it can turn into a longer story, but I make no promises ;).
Relationships: Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Eskel & Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia & Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 17
Kudos: 20





	1. The Dollhouse

Based on this image

Geralt had not been able to pinpoint what he felt towards his new neighbor. It was definitely somewhere on the scale from annoyance to stark mad. He had the audacity to paint the already dollhouse-looking building fucking pink and purple, like it was some bloody candy shop. He should not have been surprised ; the man who went by Jaskier (what kind of name was that, anyway?) was equally riotously dressed, wearing jewel-colored outfits, and being obnoxiously vibrant. Loquacious did not even cover it: he talked, sang, and played like five or six different kinds of instruments around the clock. And he was a terrible flirt. He made up all kinds of excuses to visit Geralt, from missing ingredients for a cake he was baking (he couldn't even say 'desiccated' properly, God in heavens, he talked so fast. 'Desecrated coconut'? No, he didn't have any.) to borrowing power tools, coming up with eye roll-worthy innuendos and winking and chewing on his rosy lips... Sure, he was not a bad-looking fellow, those impossible blue eyes and that pert, round ass were especially things that Geralt did NOT think about when shooting piercing looks at the man as he played his guitar in the fucking window, telling him to shut the fuck up, he was trying to sleep. 

He had an abrubt, violent and 180° change of heart when one night, the alarms in the dollhouse went off. Naturally, he had to check what was going on, the man was an idiot but did not deserve to be robbed or hurt. He peeked out the window. He was wide awake in an instant: there were fucking steel panels rolling out of nowhere, covering the windows and doors, barbed wires appearing on the edges of the walls and spikes coming out from other surfaces. And did he see a fucking canon in the third story window? Or was it a rocket launcher? Shit. He looked down as a window lit up downstairs: a seething Jaskier, with a sneer worthy of an assassin on his face, had fucking throwing knives in his hands. And he knew how to use them; he watched the would-be burglar escape within an inch of his life, leaving bloody patches on the sidewalk. 

Next morning, when Jaskier rang his door, he did not even let him finish his sheepish "Good morning'. He yanked him inside, shut the door and pinned him against it, wrists above his head, and kissed him breathless without further ado. Jaskier answered with wrapping his legs around his waist in one smooth, powerful move.


	2. Summer Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of angst?

The end-of-summer sunshine was golden, the air was hot but not terribly so, with refreshing gusts of wind rustling the not-yet coloured leaves of the birch trees and the flower-studded grass of the field Jaskier and Geralt lay on, a much-needed midday rest after a hard night and a long ride. Having eaten their trail rations for lunch, they were lying on their backs, the bard pointing out shapes he saw in the wispy, cotton-candy clouds carried by the swift winds on the bright blue sky.

"Just... Rest, Jaskier. Sleep a little. We still have a long way to ride today" the witcher coaxed the other, slightly annoyed by his companion's chatter.

To his credit, the bard did stop talking. Then started humming and fidgeting. He was restless ; his heart, no, his whole being was brimming with love for the witcher lying by his side, and he was in a romantic mood with the golden-washed atmosphere, the smell of the air heralding the promise of autumn. He half suspected his feelings were not entirely unreciprocated. There has been... Very subtle signs. Almost undetectable but they were there. Or was it only the wishful thinking of a lovesick young man bewitched - bewitchered by his traveling companion?

He intended to find out and what better time than now? The setting was bordering on idyllic, they were not hurrying anywhere, neither of them were injured (a rare occurrence, considering). He propped himself on his elbow, looking at Geralt and his perfect cupid's bow lips with all the fondness in his heart. He looked back, quizzical and slightly confused. Then Jaskier sat up, leaned over and kissed him. He shut his eyes, his talented lips brushing and gently nibbling on the others', a tentative, almost innocent kiss with just a hint of more. 

Geralt's eyes flew open at contact. He tensed up. Jaskier was kissing him. Fuck. Fuck. The one thing he dreaded most, one he suspected was going to eventually happen soon , had come to pass. He had to.... 

"Stop. No. I'm sorry, Jaskier. Just. No." 

Jaskier staggered back, with eyes now full of hurt, as if hit by a weak Aard. 

"I am sorry, but... I don't feel the same. You deserve love and happiness. I can't give them to you. I respect you more than to pretend I do, for whatever end. I hope you understand." 

At that gentle, respectful and impassive rejection, Jaskier's heart hollowed out and sank to the depths of hell, more than it could have from angry shouts or seething annoyance. The romance of the bard and the witcher was over before it ever began.


	3. Insatiable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of implied Wolf Pack/Jaskier with some morning fun 😉

Setting:Kaer Morhen; Geralt's large bed; heaps of warm blankets and furs  
A head, crowned by soft, tousled brown locks emerges, soon thrown back in pleasure, baring a bruise-spotted neck. A bit further down, a shaggy white-gray mane starts moving slowly up and down.  
*licking and sucking noises*  
G: waking up, already hard and throbbing after last night, hmmmm. Truly insatiable.... I shall take care of it, my lusty bard....  
J.:Ahhh.....*keening noises with heavy panting* yes, ahhh put that mouth on me...  
G: *snickers as he watches Jaskier fall apart slowly from his ministrations* oh shit, Jaskier.... You are still leaking.... and smelling of all of us....   
Another disheveled head emerges.  
Lambert : OH fucking hell. A witcher needs his sleep. Fucking bards and their stamina... *grumbles and leaves*  
A fourth form gets up.  
Eskel: oh leave them be. They have to make up for how many years? Ten? Have fun, you two, I gotta catch some sleep too. Maybe we see you in the hot springs later?


	4. Student Jaskier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lesson in the art of sensuality. Nothing explicit.

A young and somewhat inexperienced Jaskier at Oxenfurt, seducing/being seduced by a professor, ending up in her home as she gives in to the tenacious bardling.  
He expects to just go straight to her bed, however what awaits him there is a lesson in true seduction and sensuality, from setting the mood to bathing to properly pleasuring one's lover with hand, mouth as well as on how to indulge every sense and mind.  
And while they are just getting ready for the "main course", her husband arrives.  
She is not phased at all, asking him to come to the bedroom.Jaskier is getting nervous and fidgety but she requests he stays. The man enters. He is tall. Muscular. With a curly, salt-and-pepper mane reaching his shoulders and a piercing gaze.  
She smirks. He comes closer, already stripping.   
"I see you started without me."  
"He needed to learn many things."  
"Is he a good student?"  
"Very."  
Jaskier is still scared but preens a little.  
"Then he may get to the second lesson already. Pleasing and being pleased by a man." he steps to the sitting Jaskier, caressing his face and running a thumb across his lips. "If you wish so, that is."  
Jaskier, ever curious and eager to learn figures why not, and licks his thumb boldly. The man laughs and captures his lips with his own.


	5. Nude model Jaskier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An explanation of sorts for Jaskier's tendency to keep on his clothes. Rated E.

A quick steamy idea from back in the day. I wanted to make a full-fledged fic out of it but it remained a drabble. It is free for the taking if anyone fancies ;) 

So Jaskier and his clothes. Him always having them on (okay technically as I recall shirts were like underwear historically so he wasn't sooo properly dressed but bear with me). Even during the bath scene. Sooo let's say he is uncomfortable with nudity. Why? Answer: overcompensating for his younger years. He used to be a nude model as a side job, to make ends meet during his studies. He thought it was all in the past. Then one day, Geralt comes across some drawings/watercolors of a very familiar-looking man at a book/arts/crafts/ store. Familiar but for his nudity. He obviously gets a reaction to them down south. He buys the pictures to protect the honor of his friend, he rationalizes his impulse buying. Of course he uses them as porn very soon after. Jaskier finds out; he finds the already well-worn /stained pics somehow (he knocks over Geralt's bag?). He is furious ; as a revenge he puts on a show, arranging the circumstances so that the witcher watches him get himself off riding a dildo, and as the voyeur he is, of course he can't help touching himself. Jaskier finishes then calls him to the room. Humiliated, Geralt goes in, and Jaskier treats him with a tirade on how he is a coward and a two-faced liar who is hurting and disrespecting the bard, treating him barely as a friend while secretly wanking to his naked pics; as a final act he throws the pictures into his face then leaves.  
What does Geralt do?

I don't know 😂that's how far I got.


	6. A Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yennefer and Ciri meet the lovebirds Geralt and Jaskier in Gors Velen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a scene pop into my head. I had to write it. This is my first attempt at Yennefer and Ciri. I have been wanting to try my hand at them for so long! :) Also my first fic that is clearly book-inspired although Jaskier will forever be Joey Batey's character for me so one could say this is a mix n match of book and show characters :D 
> 
> It has very sexual references but nothing explicit. Let's say it's rated M.

Two women stood in the shade of the donut stall, which was at the edge of Gors Velen's massive marketplace, finding snacks and shelter from the already scorching mid-morning sun. Most people, however, only had eyes for one of them and for good reason ; Yennefer, the sorceress was a vision to behold; her daughter's budding, wild beauty, which was only emerging from the cocoon of childhood, was no match to her sublime and dark femininity which had sheer power running underneath, making her fearful to some, all the more attractive for others. If one cared to look, they could find the echo of that power in the girl as well; Ciri was, after all, nothing but ordinary. Yet at the moment, she was content to not be at the center of others' attention. 

They were waiting for someone. Or rather, for two special someones. 

Nevertheless, her growing giddy anticipation did not mean that she was not happy to messily devour three of the sugary pastries offered at the stall, much to her mother's mock-horror and very real amusement. 

"Look! They have arrived!" Ciri caught sight of her dad and his friend's form in the crowd and pointed at them vehemently. 

"Well as I live and breath, they have arrived indeed", the sorceress muttered, bemused and with just a hint of surprise in her voice. 

The cause of her bemusement was not the two figures themselves(or three, counting Roach), but their configuration and body language. 

Jaskier, the bard, was plucking his lute while singing, with a contented smile on his face, glimpsing at Geralt of Rivia, the witcher, from time to time, and whenever he did, his eyes sparkled even brighter and his smile, if possible, grew even wider. The witcher, clad in his armor despite the heat and lack of imminent threat, was holding the reins of his horse, walking next to her as if dazed or stunned, his features relaxed and with a ghost of a smile on them, looking back at the bard intermittently, with a deep fondness in his yellow gaze.

"Geralt! Jaskier!" Ciri shouted and was about to leap forward to run towards the pair but Yennefer put a firm hand in her shoulder, stopping her momentarily.

"Wait. Let them come to us." Inwardly she added, 'because I really want to see how this plays out', while observing the pair keenly, using her magic to enhance her senses to eavesdrop a little. Geralt caught her eye at that moment, having sensed her powers at work and frowned at her slightly, eyes narrowing, but then turned his attention back to Jaskier. Then Yennefer noticed the braids in his hair; simple, practical yet decorative and nothing she had ever seen on Geralt before. She smirked at the sight and what it obviously meant. 

The pair stopped at a post to tie Roach to, not far from the two women and Jaskier waved a fussing Geralt away; Yen heard his half-indignant complaint that he was perfectly capable of getting off a horse on his own. Nevertheless, Geralt took his lute and remained close and ready to help if needed as he slid off the saddle and down the side of Roach with ease. The witcher stepped into the personal space of Jaskier as if it was perfectly natural for him, then gave him back his instrument. After the bard slinged it on his back, Yennefer rolled his eyes and almost groaned as the witcher held his right then lifted it to his mouth, kissing its knuckles with reverent gentleness. Jaskier's eyes radiated love as he, in response, caressed his tresses and the side of his face, then Geralt buried his face on the right side of his neck, making him gasp and flush crimson, then the white-haired man put his lips against his right ear as his hands dropped down and found a resting place on the brunette's hips like they belonged there. He whispered something and if Yennefer had been a modest lady she would have been blushing; but that she wasn't, so she grinned and bit her lower lip. Ciri was observing the blatant displays of affection as well, and her heart was glad for the clear happiness that they bespoke of. Her dad deserved all the joy and love in the world and it seemed like he finally had it in the arms of Jaskier. Her mother's latest reaction, however, got her curious. 

"What did he say to him? Did you hear?" she nagged. 

"Oh it was only sweet nothings, compliments on his beauty and such", she played it down. She couldn't very well tell the girl how Geralt promised the bard to destroy his pert little ass so he would not be able to ride a horse for days, once they were rested and Ciri was asleep. Not to mention the second part about marking the bard in various.... creative and very sexual ways that made her imagine the bard in ways she really had not wished to. Like ever. 

"Are they gonna kiss?" she grinned, almost jumping with excitement.

"We will see. I 'm not sure.... Oh. I guess I was wrong." 

"I hope someone will kiss me like that one day." Ciri sighed dreamily as they observed Jaskier melt into Geralt's embrace, while they exchanged a short but passionate kiss, lost to the outside world for a couple seconds. 

"If you want that, then you will surely have it, my little sorceress." She stroked her shoulders affectionately. "Now go, greet your dad before these lovebirds get carried away. It looks like they will never come to us otherwise."


	7. My Shortest PWP

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says in the title.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was bemoaning the fact that I can't write short fics to a friend (except for these minis I guess) ; any time I want a short fun PWP I end up with 3-5000 words.... Seriously I need to work on it. Unseriously, I have typed up my shortest pwp ever and I have received this response, among other praises :
> 
> That was an absolute work of genius that will go down in history 😂
> 
> So I guess now I have to share the crack with you lovelies 😂

bamm bamm bamm ahhhhhhh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you had a good laugh, darlings! 😘😅


End file.
